How can you tell summer has arrived in Victoria? Well other then the abundance of hot looking women. The fucking Jehovas Witness are back banging on your fucking door.
Now as I have said before I have a sign on my fucking door that reads NO RELIGIOUS CANVASSERS in nice bold fucking lettering. You would think the JWs would read this and know that it meant them, not fucking likely! These stupid bastards seem to think that the sign means to knock on the door and bother me.
So here is a fucking hint. If they come to your fucking door, invite them in for tea. Then once they have sat down ask them if they would like to supply the blood as sacrifice to your personal saviour Satan, then start chanting some fucking gibberish over and over again. Or better yet if they send the children to the door ask them how much they want for the children because they will get a good price on the white slavery market. Hell you could even carry on normally for most of the time stopping every so often to answer the voices of your unseen company, or the aliens.
Better yet tell them you were expecting them and they are just in time because you have run out of body parts to feed to your pigs because it has been a long time since you had visitors and just smile at them.
Fuck them if they get panicked and run. They should fucking well know better then to know on your fucking door.
You know I h=just had a brilliant idea. I am going to put up an official notice stating the following, “Attention Religious Canvassers. The occupant of these premises is a violent serial killer of religious canvassers. Proceed at your own Risk. By Proceeding beyond this point you waive all liability and except any and all consequences.” Maybe that will fucking work.
Until next time I remain;
The Cranky Old Bastard